where have i been? a reminder that came to me

where have i been you ask... it's one of those questions that i have really no good answer. but of course i have those moments that i just have to spill it out. and maybe this will get me back to my blogging ways.

i think in the last several weeks, i keep thinking how great life is. i was just out in utah, and i made my faithful trip to deseret book and the byu bookstore. and there i found this documentary that i saw after conference one time, called 'the 5000 day project; two brothers'.

this movie follows these two brothers from when they were 10 and through their mission. you really come to see these two boys grow up. you see the struggles they have in life, the ups and the downs. i was taught by these two boys. it is amazing when you are able to reflect on life

but the part that really got me, was this young man serving his mission in chilie. he had a video diary of his mission. it was so so powerful. so often i feel like as a return missionary i can never accurately express my feelings about my mission, and then i found my self relating to this young man. lets just say i was blubbering fool.

there is something about suddenly loving these people from another country. i never thought i could really relate to them with so many differences between us. but then i came to a point, and i was overwhelmed with a love for every person in the streets. the part that hit me the most in this video, was the relation he made between sorrow and love. two opposite emotions, yet completely intertwined.

i know the feeling of loving so much, that you have sorrow for these people when they choose not to receive the blessing that are in store. i don't know if that can be accurately described to someone.. i am so grateful for the opportunity i had to serve the people of argentina. i don't think i talk about it enough. but i love those people! and i know that there were people i came in contact with that changed my life... and i only pray and hope that i made a difference in at least one person's life during my time there.

i know that we have a great responsibility during our life. i am so grateful for those who have come into my life and changed me for good, for the experiences that i have had, that have made me a better person. enjoy each moment. love the people around you. the relationships we build will be carried through for a life time.

some people say that i am one who becomes attached and invested. and i can't argue that one bit. sometimes i think i should change that --- but in then end it is worth it. its worth it to be to be attached and invested --- risking the chance of hurt, loss, and pain --- for the opportunity to love, and be changed.

love,
ta