oh dating is such a game. you like the chase, or even the game. and if you don't --- well i think you really do, and you are just denying it.
over the years, i have learned from a number of my mistakes. some may say i have improved, others, well i am still single, so i guess others are valid in thinking the opposite.
but to you dating gurus, what would you say is the key to the game or the chase? what is the biggest mistake we a single people make?
is the book 'he's just not that into you' have valid points? odo exclamation points in a text really mean something? or is it just a filler? does it really mean anything when he says 'life is better now with you..."? do chick flicks give us single women false hope?
i heard in a show today (that's where i get my deep quotes) "nothing is harder to live with, than false hope". oh dating --- sigh.
i can't help but think, in the end it will all be worth it! right? well to your single friend, i'd love to hear your thoughts on this little thing/game called dating.
love,
ta
you know my usual advise.
ReplyDelete1. invest your time and efforts on people who are worth it
2. ask first... do I LIKE HIM then worry about if he likes you
3. When people show you who they are believe them
4. You have to date the crappy ones so you can appreciate the amazing one when he shows up
5. The MOST important... you are NOT looking for more friends
I am no expert, I just got VERY lucky... it will come... continue to be you... you are AMAZING!!
LOVE ya terra!!!!! friends do have such great advice!
ReplyDeleteThere are no experts. Just the magical combination of the right people, circumstances, and choices. Believe it or not, there are wee bits of me that miss single life--I felt so much...lighter, in some ways, with hundreds of avenues of possibilities and only me to consult with. Don't get me wrong--there's nothing I regret about being married. I just recognize the good in both situations. You're doing the right things. That's the bottom line. Be yourself, love yourself, love others, and the right ones (one!) will love you even more. You are great.
ReplyDeleteoh Talise,
ReplyDeleteI second most of what has been said. :) Not too much more to add... I think you do an amazing job at branching out to meet new people and developing new talents/doing things you've always wanted to do.
Oh, and don't change on account of guys wanting you to be something you're not. Mr. Right will love you for the person you are and have become while waiting for him.
You are wonderful and deserve someone as equally wonderful. :) Love you.
P.S. I solicited Sean's advice as well. This post is from HIM...
ReplyDeleteThe dating game is just that....a game. At some point in time, you have to stop "playing" the game and take a risk (i.e. stick your neck out and show your cards). Whether that's letting someone know you like them, or being the one to initiate more than just a group hangout/ plutonic friendship. If what you're doing now is not working, it's time to change something.
Typically, the guy leads the chase and makes the moves. BUT, times have changed. You can wait around for guys to approach you, or you can be proactive and make it happen. I know several couples whose marriage was a direct result of the girl being the one to initiate.
It's not easy being vulnerable. No one likes that part. I know from experience. But the pay-off is worth it. Taking that risk is more likely to lead you to guys who are interested in more than just being your friend.
Flirting is an important element of the chase. Like a mousetrap, flirting is the bait. With Caitlin, I flirted because it was fun and I wanted to see if there was potential for us to be more than friends. Once I knew there was potential, I stopped "playing" the game and let her know what I was interested in--a long-term relationship.
People tend to put on a face when playing the dating game. But when it comes down to it, you are interested in the PERSON, not the show. Talise, you are a fabulous person. We think the world of you. Get out there and show 'em what you got. :)